The Self You Worship

The sidelong stare, the apparent sneer, the laugh as they pass out of sight in the opposite direction... These things don't quite boil the blood, but they do cause sparks. A look over the shoulder reveals no further information as both their backs are turned. They round a corner and are gone.

Why does it rankle so?

Who you see yourself as (the idealized self) and who you really are (the real self) couldn't be two more different characters. You've done a smashing job, though, of not recognizing this. Most of the time, anyway.

Blame it on your upbringing, blame it on society... At the end of the day, it's still your problem. And, it will bring you low eventually if you don't get it together.

Start seeing yourself for who you are. Try this: next time you're on a train or a bus, look around for someone with nearly the same posture as the one you have. Maybe his hands are folded resting on his lap, or maybe she's leaning against a support rail. Now, try to guess where they're going, what they're going to do there. Imagine the conversations they might have with others, the feelings they might feel. Don't fantasize. Be realistic.

What's your impression of this person? Whatever it is, you might just understand yourself a little better afterward.